This Guy Gets It
David Currie & IAN MARTIN
$6
Stand Up Poem
Sometimes I walk into rooms and there aren’t enough chairs. So, I end up standing because I don’t ever feel comfortable sitting on the floor, but when you’re standing and most people are sitting it’s pretty hard to find people on your level to talk to.
It’s awkward talking to someone sitting down when you’re standing because you don’t know if you should kneel or bend at the waist. If you bend at the waist, you’re right in their business, but if you kneel, your knees crack, and then the person looks down on you.
If you’re talking to someone sitting on a bar stool, then you’re both on the same level, but at the same time, it feels like you both have somewhere better to be and don’t know what to do with your feet.
You don’t want to walk into a room with too many chairs, because you’ll look conspicuous. If someone you don’t want to talk to walks in (and they will) they will come right over because you’re the only person in a mostly empty room.
Sometimes walking into rooms and there aren’t enough chairs is way better than sometimes walking into a room with too many chairs.
Forget I said anything.
published in Ottawa by above/ground press
June 2026
a/g subscribers receive a complimentary copy
[David Currie and IAN MARTIN launch this title in Ottawa on Friday, June 19 as part of the ottawa small press book fair pre-fair reading at Anina's Cafe]
David Currie is not IAN MARTIN. He is a different writer with whom IAN MARTIN is collaborating. David's work has appeared in various places – he wishes he could be more specific, but he forgot to write them down, and has been collected into six chapbooks. He is the author of no-book-books, so what are we even doing here?
IAN MARTIN is large and barely in charge. Their work has appeared recently in periodicities, BAD DOG Mag, Discordia Review, and Sumac Literary Magazine. IAN has published six chapbooks, most recently EVERYONE IS MY ENEMY (2022). When not writing, IAN makes small video games and complains. Visit www.ianmartin.rocks at your own risk.
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