I. The Sun
Memory is vainglory. It perceives the abysm locking arms, their eyes thefts before the bubble the earth has in the mirror. The molehill cathedral braided by long-spinners’ legs throughout the invisible, then cut down to their stars, they dross a ghost through the walls of a little blue rain-cloud. This belief can never be broken down to the atomi members of the self, memory, nor can the personated memory translate the ghastly belief staring back at them, when your backs are turned. The fact decays, dashed to pieces and scattered either way beyond the screen. Those huge caves open into my lips and lose children to close when I forget them. What has happened is no memory. My memory does not know, so I sit, and attempt to express that, non-come, without being.
O’erhead, below where we were sitting, in a long room rounded at the corners, not so deep I canst perceive the portal we all, sweet friends, open into. Small performances below dream up work for characters copied from the star figures painted along the walls. They are unrecognizable to us, who, myself excepted, have no memory, though it is perhaps the walls who should remember us. One curiosity is that, of whatever matter we composed this mural, the history of the figures composed by stars, we have no more of that material. I wonder at times if that history could be finished. Or if anything could be more perfect.
What could this mean, in heaven? If we are some part of the earth that carried over, then are these paintings from her former life? Could the same be said, then, of they who performs beneath? We have seen no stars that resemble them, so they may be false, a performance, a memory. No person can keep a memory. It is alive. Because I have a memory, I have never been on stage.
I need to start a little before my memory. But Paradise has never been denied darkness.
published in Ottawa by above/ground press
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Urië V-J – Moravian-Canadian essayist, poet, speculative geographer and hermetic technician – has lived in the vicinity of White Rock, BC since the late 2020s. They are co-founders of the Nelson Push for Chemical Goverment (Surveyor). A monograph of correspondence with Tzixen Planchette is being prepared by Govinda Craig for the Free University of the Half-Moon Bay beginning in 2015.
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