S. Burgoyne and S. Burgoyne
$5
UNSHARED CUSTODY
The market lemons were too perfect. Almost plastic surge. Your latest urge to go the distance was far too much effort. I couldn't know if I'd stay the same, or if I'd hold it all for you.
Don't forget it, sweetchops.
You feel the distance and yet you know the squids still approach nightly. How was I to know that you can't always have the last peanut?
She was my little peanut. And then your annoying photos from Germany. Why can't I find peace? What is the last time you ever did?
Jump. It's never too high or too scary when
you're not alone.
*
S. Burgoyne and S. Burgoyne, mother and daughter, have been flouting their attempted mastery of all the proper auxiliary verbs and English nouns since S. Burgoyne (the elder) imbued her offspring toward lexicography on many long road trips across our great nation where said offspring were held captive by infant carseats and seatbelts in the enclosed space of the vehicle, unable to escape this attempt to mould them into vocabularists. Choosing to bypass such infantile games as “Count the Cows” as they traversed the miles, S.Burgoyne (the elder) incorporated light-hearted merriment into a game she invented and creatively entitled “Dictionary” utilizing an approximately 30 pound tome which also served as a booster seat or step stool for her wee children. This raucous car game involved compelling her young daughters (one a mere babe) into the realm of polysyllabism by reading the dictionary aloud to them and providing examples of usage for future reference (eg. “I was pleased to see your post-jentacular effort to brush your teeth this morning although that tittynope of Cheerios did not go unnoticed on your plate, Sweetie!” or “I expect full impignoration to participate in this car game - ignore those bovines!” S. Burgoyne, (the elder) was apparently successful in inspiring S.Burgoyne (the second) to follow her bibliophilic tendencies for as it turned out, S. Burgoyne (the second) felt loathe to yield her future to any other professional realm than that of logophile. She thus followed her destiny to become, none other than a delightful amalgam of poetess, librettist, dramaturgist and rhapsodist - which one can easily discern from her manner of speech and the unique intonations with which she speaks, constantly uttering a veritable plethora of gymnastic linguistic phraseologies to the delight of all her compatriats.
Over the years, S. Burgoyne and S. Burgoyne have fully indulged their passionate lingoisms and have spewed forth countless written and spoken words, even to the point of inventing an unusual S.Burgoyne-esque vernacular (perhaps a podcast will be forthcoming - stay tuned!) Although they each reside across a vast geographic expanse, they always manage to indulge their passion for repartee and serendipitously string together nonsensical narratives through wordplay and occasional mild tipsyness (which thereby absolves them of any serious literary accountability or subjectivity to literary criticism of any kind). And so therefore, most capital and esteemed captives, this is a rare exposure of meaningful, unforgettable and riveting drivel submitted in the spirit of extreme kakorrhaphiophobia. Please do not hold them responsible for surrendering the time you are about to spend pondering this ludicrous collection.
published in Ottawa by above/ground press
September 2020
a/g subscribers receive a complimentary copy
Susan Burgoyne has created many extensive publications in her mind over the years. This is her first publication on paper.
Sarah Burgoyne’s first collection Saint Twin (Mansfield Press: 2016) was nominated for the A.M. Klein prize. Her second manuscript is coming out with Coach House Press in 2021.
This is Sarah Burgoyne’s third above/ground press title, after A Precarious Life on the Sea (2016) and TENTACULUM SONNETS (2020).
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